Congratulations, You Have Won a New Matesprit!
by EuphoricDragon
Summary: Gamzee's husktop stops working, and he calls Sollux to fix it for him. T just for language.


AN: Okay, so I haven't written a fanfiction in a very very long time, and I don't even really count the ones that I had written before anyway. Please be easy on me, and rate and review? c: I'd love some advice. I'm not sure if my Sollux was too OOC or not, but I tried.

Disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck.

"Congratulations! You are the 100th viewer of this page! You have won a new husktop! Click here to retrieve it!"

This isn't the first time Gamzee Makara has won things on pages. This is just proof of all the miracles the mirthful messiahs can bring him. It seems though, every time he clicks them, his husktop gets a little weird, and he doesn't actually get his prize. But, Gamzee knows that some day, all of these miraculous gifts will be sent to the doorstep of his hive.

This time though, when he tries to retrieve his new husktop, his poor computer makes very concerning beeping sound and turns itself off completely. Maybe all of the pop ups all over his screen all the time finally got too overwhelming for the poor thing. The juggalo sits there for a moment, before pressing the on button on his husktop way too many times. After a few more concerning sounds, Gamzee gets up and stretches, a dopey smile still on his face despite the condition of his husktop.

After scooping up a handful of slime and shoving it into his mouth, Gamzee wipes his hand on his shirt before grabbing his troll cellphone off of his cluttered desk. He holds it above his face, squinting his eyes before punching in a familiar number. Of course, he got it wrong the first few times, but after about 7 minutes of calling unknown numbers, a lispy voice came through the device.  
"What do you want Gamzee? Thith better be important. I'm pretty fucking buthy."

Gamzee blinks, confused and slightly in awe. "Damn, Solbro, how did you all up and know it was this motherfucker? Did you predict that I was gonna be all callin' you on this fine motherfucking day?"

A sigh, and most likely a face palm was Sollux's immediate response. "Gamzee, there ith a such thing ath caller ID. I'm not thure how you couldn't remember that."

"Oh yeah, I motherfuckin forgot about that! All these different devices that some miraculous motherfucker just came up with. It's hard to remember all of them, y'know brother?" Gamzee lazily says, leaning against his desk and nearly knocking it over, before standing up straight again.

"Uh, yeah, Gamzee. Tho what are you calling me for again?" Sollux asked, obviously irritated.

Gamzee was silent for a little, apparently having forgotten what he was calling for. When Sollux sighed, Gamzee suddenly remembered, shouting into the troll cellphone and triggering a surprised curse from his lispy friend. "Oh! Motherfucker, my husktop is all making all these beepin sounds and won't turn the fuck on no more. Maybe I need to give the motherfucker a break or something, but I want to retrieve my new fuckin husktop. If I got the free new one, then my old one wouldn't all up and have to be stressed all the motherfucking time!" Gamzee grins, pleased that he had remembered.

"Damnit Gamzee, you fucking dumbath. That'th a thcam. You won't really get anything free. I gueth I'll come over though, tho you won't complain about it anymore. Jutht, give me about an hour, okay?"

Gamzee's grin grows wider. "Great, Solbro! I'll make another miraculous pie and get us all some motherfucking wicked elixirs. See you in a little while, brother!" Before Sollux could respond, Gamzee excitedly hung up and slammed the device onto his desk, knocking a few pie tins and other things on the cluttered surface off.

Gamzee and Sollux hadn't hung out in a very long time. They never had really been too close, but Gamzee was always willing to get to know a motherfucker, and Sollux seemed cool enough, especially since his wicked morail talked to him a lot. So, Gamzee prepared a slime pie, got out some faygo, then ended up falling asleep on his horn pile in his hive.

Not long after, Gamzee was awoken by the sound of an irritated, lispy troll. "Gamzee, I'm hoping you didn't call me over here to watch you thleep. Wake up and show me your fucked up huthktop tho I can get it over with and go back to what I wath doing before you called me over here."

Gamzee yawns, stretching and causing a few horns to honk. He slowly stands up, pulling Sollux into a hug, despite his protests. "It's great to see you, Solbro! Haven't talked to this motherfucker in a long time." Sollux pushes Gamzee away, crossing his arms. "Yeah, whatever, Gamzee, jutht show me your computer."

Gamzee nods, leading Sollux to his desk, while the yellow blood tries not to trip over the trash all over the juggalo's floor. He sits down in Gamzee's desk chair, grimacing at the dirt and slime all over the worn out keyboard and screen. "Holy thit, Gamzee. No wonder your huthktop is tho screwed. There'th thit all over it." Gamzee just shrugs, the usual lazy smile on his face.

Sollux presses the on button, raising an eyebrow as it makes a loud beeping sound. He presses a few other buttons, and gets various loud, unnatural noises from the computer. A mixture of horror, surprise and awe goes over Sollux's face. "How the fuck did you fuck your huthktop up thith bad?" Gamzee shrugs again. "Ugh, well, thith ith going to take a long time, if I can even fickth it at all. Luckily, you have probably the betht hacker on Alternia. It would help if you would thtop breathing in my ear, though," Sollux grumbles, and Gamzee backs up, watching as Sollux begins to fiddle with his messy husktop.

After about 15 minutes of just standing and watching Sollux attempt to fix Gamzee's husktop in silence, Gamzee speaks to the lowblood. "So, Solbro, what have you been all up and doing these past miraculous motherfucking days?"

Without looking at Gamzee, Sollux responds, kind of dazedly as he focuses on the work he was doing. "I've been making new programth, thome thpecifically to prevent virutheth like thith, and helping other trollth with their shitty computer problemth. I've altho been working on thome gameth."

Gamzee grins, sitting down on the edge of his recuperacoon. "That sounds all nice, Solbro. Great of you to be all tryin to help motherfuckers like me who gets all cheated out of getting their free motherfucking prizes by all these shitty viruses and all that. It's bitchtits, what you do." Sollux responds with a sound of agreement, not really paying attention to the clown.

Gamzee, feeling a little bored, goes to retrieve the pie he had prepared for him and his yellow blooded friend, and two faygos. He scoops out a handful of the green substance, and shoves it into his mouth, swallowing it and smiling at the familiar, wicked flavor. He taps Sollux's shoulder, who turns around and glares at Gamzee. "What ith it?"

"I thought a motherfucker would like to have a wicked delicious motherfucking snack, so I got us some slime and wicked elixir," the juggalo smiles widely, satisfied with his own kindness.

Sollux stares at the orange faygo and the overflowing pie tin of green sopor held in large but slender hands, and makes a face. "Gamzee, there ith no way that I will ever eat that thit. Will you jutht let me finish fickthing your huthktop tho I can leave?"

The juggalo frowns as Sollux continues what he came for. "But Solbro, we haven't chilled together in a long time, if motherfucking ever. Being you're all close with my best motherfucking friend, I thought it'd be nice to get to know a motherfucker, you know brother?"

"Gamzee, I don't want to get to know you. I have no reathon to get clothe to another troll that I have no need for." Sollux turns around in the chair, a program running on Gamzee's computer now, trying to solve the problem. Gamzee gets closer to Sollux, pulling him out of the chair into a tight hug.

"Solbro, there's no motherfucking reason to be all like that. Everyone needs to have a motherfucking pal or two. You don't need to be all lonely. I know how it motherfucking feels," Gamzee says, a sad smile on his face. Sollux tries to push him away. "I'm not lonely, dumbath. I jutht prefer to be alone. Jutht let me go for fuckth thake-You're tho fucking thtubborn!"

Sollux uses his psiionics to push Gamzee up against a near by wall, surprising the purple blood. Sollux gets closer to Gamzee, snarling at him. "I hardly know you, but I- Fuck I hate you! You're tho annoying! I jutht came here to fix your fucking huthktop, not become "pals"."

Gamzee chuckles, a lazy grin crossing his face, and something glinting in his eyes that definitely wasn't hate. "Motherfucker, ain't no reason to be all like that. No reason to be hating a brother, and no reason to be in a fucking rush. Now how about you be all letting me the fuck go?"

The yellow blood, who looks a bit surprised at not having his black feelings returned, backs up and lets go of the taller troll, only to be grabbed and gently pushed against the wall he had originally pinned Gamzee to.

"See, Solbro? Isn't this much motherfucking better? Ain't no reason to be all black for a motherfucker." Gamzee's face was too close for Sollux's comfort, but at the same time, it gave the lowblood a warm feeling, unlike the cold, deep feeling of hatred he originally had had. Something about the sweet smell of soda mixed with the kind of tangy smell of sopor made Sollux feel an urge for more. He wasn't sure what came over him when he pressed his thin, chapped lips against Gamzee's own pair.

The clown almost immediately kissed back, smiling a little bit. After a few seconds, Sollux pushes him away, a shocked look on his face. "Why the fuck did you kith me?" The yellow blood's voice was shaky, as if he knew the answer. The purple blood chuckles, putting a heavy hand on the hacker's shoulder.

"Brother, I didn't kiss you, you kissed me, and it definitely wasn't motherfucking black. You can be all denying it, but I think you got some red feelings for this motherfucker, and you ain't all admitting it yet."

Sollux blinks, kind of surprised that the high troll was able to say something like that, and also surprised that he was right. "How the fuck-"

Gamzee's hand moves up to the other troll's face, and he touches his nose to Sollux's, grinning a little. "Maybe it's because this motherfucker is feelin some wicked, miraculous red feelings for you, too." Before Sollux can respond, the juggalo presses his lips against the hacker's again. The shorter troll hesitates for a moment, before responding, kissing back and putting a hand in messy black hair.

Soon, the trolls pull away from each other to breathe, still holding each other somewhat. A silly grin is on Gamzee's face, while slightly yellow lips are parted, and a pair of hetero chromatic eyes are wide.

Soon, the silence is broken by a sound from Gamzee's husktop. Sollux quickly takes this as an opportunity to push the taller troll away and hurry to the desk, ignoring the juggalo's chuckle.

Sollux presses a few buttons, and then sighs in relief. "There, Gamzee, your huthktop ith working. Don't click on any more of thothe scamth, okay?" He begins to turn to face the capricorn, but nearly jumps out of his skin when he sees how close the others face was to his.

"Solbro, I think I did win a motherfucking prize after all." Sollux raises an eyebrow, and nervously asks, "And what might that be, Gamzee?"

Gamzee crushes his lips into the gemini's, nearly knocking him out of the desk chair. "I think I won a new motherfucking matesprit."


End file.
